So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
