If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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