Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize