But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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