the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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