We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
