This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
