I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The beer is more important than you right now.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
