Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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