Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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