Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
