so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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