i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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