sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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