You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize