if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
