sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
