my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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