there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's great music for shaving your balls
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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