you would pick up someone in the library
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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