oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize