I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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