She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
