she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
