Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize