Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
