i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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