I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
