she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
