hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
