Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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