well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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