Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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