At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
