She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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