curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The struggles of a small town man whore
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
