is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize