This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
FUCK WHALES
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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