I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
