she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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