Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
