We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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