just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
