shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
