guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
