Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
