so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
