I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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