What did we do last night that was yellow?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
