We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just blew my weed a kiss
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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