No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
