we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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