You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
