My hand turned me down
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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