chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wear drunk well.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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