WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
operation harelip BJ is a go
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
