i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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