we made out on top of his cat.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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