im six kinds of drunk right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
