he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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