try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
