guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
