That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
