we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize