My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize