Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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