i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
