Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
