my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
