I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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