Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize