so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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