i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
