I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
