Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We need to get me chipped asap
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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