do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
