just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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