we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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