Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
